Conceded?

Question

Is it conceded to not want my MIL in the room when I'm giving birth.. But let my mom in? Os that selfish? I really don't want her there to the point of crying thinking about it. But it would be rude to have my mom and not his

Answer

No, it’s not *conceited. Your body, your baby, your decision.

Answer

I didnt want my MIL in the room when I had my son. But my husband expected her to be since my mom was. Worst experience ever. My mom helped while my husband watched TV or stood talking and laughing in a corner with his mom. And she decided it would be okay for her to take pictures of me pushing my son out (vagina and all even though I'm a private person) so I spent it upset, stressed, and exhausted. And then after he was born and I did an hour of skin to skin, my parents came in to see and hold my son. My mom had just got him when my MIL, FIL, and SIL all pushed their way in and through a fit about needing to leave and my son was then just snatched away from my mom. It was the worst and I still want to cry thinking about it.
MIL will NOT be in the room this time. My son will be with my brother, his girlfriend, and my dad. And after my daughter is born and we do skin to skin and people are let back, my son and parents will be the first ones to hold him and they can wait their damn turn or leave. I'm not letting them ruin it again.
Do what YOU want to do. Have who will be most beneficial to YOU. You are the one going through labor and delivery. No one else matters besides you and your baby!

Answer

No. You’re entitled to have whoever you want (or don’t) in the room.

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uh no? your mom and husband have both seen what is down there, not you mil your the one who has to push out the baby ....you decide

Answer

If you don’t want her there don’t let her be there! I didn’t have either of the grandmas in delivery but I had planned for my mom to visit right after I delivered. Being that we’re out of state from our family I told my husband I didn’t want his mom to come up until after my mom left. Well let me tell you my MIL has a way of making my husband feel super guilty and like a POS because he wouldn’t let her visit right away. We gave in and I regret it so much. My mother respected our boundaries and would only visit at the hospital for an hour tops each day so we could have time alone as a new family (she even watched our dogs, cleaned my entire home, did laundry, made meals, etc. she was amazing). My MIL basically lived in my room and put her opinion into every single thing I did. My son didn’t get newborn pictures at the hospital because of her. I had a hard time bonding with my son because she NEEDED to hold him the whole time she visited, like she would actually get mad at me for taking him away from her to BF 🙄 She even had the nerve to make comments about how my body looked (to a hormonal woman REALLY?!) and no it wasn’t the “wow you look great” kind of comment it was “your feet are swollen” oh really cause I didn’t know that already 👌🏻 The second I was discharged and away from her in our car I balled my eyes out for our entire ride home, she made me feel terrible and pretty much ruined my FTM experience (even though I’m sure that wasn’t her intention).
I was so worried about making others feel bad and now I wish I had focused more on what I wanted and had a voice!

Answer

Nope. Your mom wiped your vagina as a baby so it's waaaaay more comfortable for her to be in the room than a MIL

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Why is it rude? I wouldn’t want my MIL in there either. Your mom is your mom, you don’t have to apologize for any of this. Your going to be naked, pushing a baby out of your stretching hurting vagina. You can have whoever you want in there, and anyone that makes you feel bad about this is an asshole and you shouldn’t even let it bother you.

Answer

Not conceited at all. My So and I discussed the room situation awhile ago and I told him I only wanted him in the room and my mom on standby. His mom wants to be in the room but I am not comfortable with it and he understands and respects my decision.

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I originally just wanted my mom and my boyfriend, but my boyfriend made a big deal about his mother being there, so I ended up saying fine. To be fair, it'll probably be a c section with just my bf there, which is partially why I said fine lol But it's perfectly fine to not want your MIL there. It's gonna be a bloody mess and a very intimate or at least exposing time, and a lot of people aren't comfortable sharing that with just anyone.

Conceded?

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