Ever since the loss of my job and not being able to go back to work since I'm too far long, I've hit a deep depression and resentment, combined with pregnancy fatigue, sleep deprivation from staying up with my restless energetic 9 month old, 18 month old who can sense my depression so she stays super attached whenever I want to be left alone and it'senough to make any sane person crazy. I just feel like I let my family down and now my SO has to work 2 jobs to pick up the slack. I'm not used to being a stay at home mom due to my mental health, plus I love making my own money and not having to rely solely on my partner. I feel useless in a sense because I'm not contributing financially anymore. I loved making sure rent and bills were paid on time and that he and I both contributed. I don't feel motivated to do anything; I'm even skipping meals. Might eat once a day. I have no one to talk to don't really want a pity party either. I'm usually the go to person everyone calls for their problems and I listen attentively and give advice if asked. But it's never reciprocated. It's hard to run into the bathroom or my room to cry it out, and put a smile on my face and go with the motions to bond with my kiddos as if everything's all good. With him not being here now, I can't help but feel guilty. I know I need to take charge of my hormones and balance being their for my 11 year old, the littles, all while taking care of myself and maintaining the home front. But I legit feel like at any moment, I'm going to break. Please keep negative comments to yourself or simply don't respond. I just needed a place where I can relax, relate, release since I have no adult present who I can talk to. Lord please give me the strength and motivation to just keep pressing through.