"The one" after a long run of bad ones...

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If you've had a HORRIBLE lifetime of bad exes, and finally found the one, please share your story with me if you don't mind. There is one man I will NEVER get over, and felt like he was the one for me, like a undeniable universal connection type of way. He left me because of his own personal issues, saying I was too good to him, and he is constantly wrapped up with abusive women to this day. I've recently met a WONDERFUL man, but I find myself repeating what my ex said to me 4 years ago. "I am looking for reasons to destroy myself". The more I talk to him and like him, I feel like I'm "waiting" for the bad side to come out as all the others before him did, or get used/abused in some way. Please, if you have recovered from something similar, let me hear about it. I need to know it gets better, and there is someone out there that will love me without any secrets and stipulations.