Lost my job//sad af.

I think I lost my job I never even started. I was hired on at a prison is the control room. So pushing buttons to open and lock doors. I was supposed to start Tuesday June 5th.

Monday June 4th, I overdosed trying to commit suicide. I was in the ICU over night. Getting help now. I went and met with my bosses today and they told me they have to look into some stuff and call me to let me know if I still have the job.

I’m sure I don’t. I’ll cry if they call me and tell me I still have the job. I understand why if they tell me I don’t. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have done what I did.

Now I’m out a job and sit at home all the time by myself. Having this job could help me I think. To get out and get my mind off things.

I’m just sad and need to vent so this is where I came to do that. I’m not asking for anyone’s sympathy, but can you tell me if you think I’ll still have the job or not?

***UPDATE***

I forgot to mention that I live in a very small town and everyone knows everyone so the jail/prison knew everything that was going on with me. I got information today that I STILL HAVE THE JOB!! I’m really excited. I won’t be starting till around August because they want to make sure I’m all good and get better.