Take the good with the bad

So I have to have my fallopian tubes removed. IVF is the only option. At least there is an option.. My boyfriend proposed. Well, he didn’t actually propose but we did agree to get married.. I’m too shy for a wedding. My grandfather raised me and will not be able to walk me down the aisle. I couldn’t walk without tripping or fumbling anyway. My dad probably won’t be able to give me away and I can’t ask my brother without hurting my dad’s feelings. My mom and I have been working on our relationship recently. She wants to make a cake and give gifts and all the works.. I would rather accept donations towards my surgery and the IVF, but no one is listening to me. My boyfriend.. I mean, fiancé.. his mom wants a church. He’s not religious at all and the only church I could get think to do something small, on a Sunday, hasn’t confirmed anything yet. Also, the date is a problem, apparently.. my grandfather and uncle shared a birthday. They have both passed away. My cousin (my uncles daughter) had her wedding on his birthday because he was unable to give her away. I wanted the same thing for my “wedding.” My grandfather and I always shared our birthdays together and it has always been a special day for me. But she has a major has a problem with it. She says I’m stealing her special day. I feel so bad that she feels that way but I don’t want to change the date. Her wedding was over 5 years ago and I have been living out of that state for almost 9 years now. I hardly see her and everyone is being supportive of me choosing that day for myself. I guess I just would like an unbiased opinion. Can y’all help me make some kind of sense of all this?