Strained relationship with my mom

This is going to be a very long post and a little TMI but here goes. My mom and I have a very rocky relationship. She left my dad for her first cousin back in 2011 and now she’s back dating him again. When she left my dad she didn’t talk to me for about 8 months. I’m not comfortable with it but I’ve learned to ignore it. Well now my dad has remarried and is very happy but she says that the woman who he married betrayed her because she was her friend first. She always talks pure shit about my step mom and I’m so sick of it. She also says that I want to do more with my step mom than with her which here lately has been kinda true. Well every time I don’t answer my phone within like 5 minutes she blows up and says that I don’t want anything to do with her yadda yadda yadda. I literally can’t even have one night with my husband without her blowing my phone up. And now to top it all off me and my husband are ttc she expects to be the first told about it. I don’t want to tell her first because of fear that she will post it online or blab to someone else about it. Every time me or my sister try to do anything without her in the picture (mind you I’m 23 and married and my sister is 22 and living on her own) she blows up because we aren’t including her. She literally blew up at me yesterday because I didn’t answer her in the appropriate amount of time because I was in the shower! I get so down on Mother’s Day, her birthday and Christmas because she literally expects me and my sister to spend a ton of money on her and we just don’t have it. (We forgot her Mother’s Day gift one year and she cussed me and my sister out.)

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t know what to do anymore. She makes me so mad some days by the way she talks to me she makes me cry and literally just throw a huge cussing at her. I don’t know whether to write or off or not. She’s my mom and I love her but she’s literally making my life a living hell.

It feels good to get this off my chest but at the same time I just don’t know what to do anymore for fear of her making a mountain out of a mole hill. 😞😞😞