Addiction & never ending shit storm

Yesterday I found out my sister has been using heroine again. For at least two weeks. I also found out she died and someone did cpr to bring her back to life. It was a wake up call for me. In may we got into a car accident and I was passenger. I was injured she was not. I've been kind of a cunt to her cuz I was mad about the accident and it impacting my ability to work and exercise. I felt really shitty

I have to take a day in between when I can work due to pain. I'm an artist and my arms and neck were injured. I can't swim or run anymore due to the pain. I wanted to join the track team at school when it started up again to make new friends. Walking feels pointless bc i won't be able to build up a speed tolerance..

One of my bestfriends stopped talking to me cuz I'm bad at keeping in touch and is ignoring me. I only hang out with one of my best friends bc I'm back home from school and trying to not even touch weed rn(I smoke occasionally). At school I only have three good friends bc i dont

wanna get into trouble anymore

.

It's easy to feel put down and I need words of encouragement. I usually don't talk about stuff like this but I need somewhere to vent.

EMOTIONS