Husband DUI

My husband and I have been together 9 years. We started off perfect and had no real issues until after my first child was born. His anxiety and depression increased and he’s now been to 5 different psychiatrists, refuses therapy because he thinks it’s stupid and now he’s smoking weed nonstop to cope with his anxiety and panic attacks. I had severe post partum depression with manic episodes where I was basically doing whatever I wanted with no regard for consequences. Since I’ve been able to overcome and eventually conceived again and did not develop ppd. My oldest child was diagnosed officially with autism spectrum disorder and my husband has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. There is way to much history of fucked up shit that’s happened to accurately put into words but it’s not been easy. My husband is an only child who had everything handed to him and he has never had to be responsible for himself. I’ve always taken care of everyone. I care for my two daughters and my husband but now things have gotten much worse. He was arrested for a DUI because he was too tired/druggy from his Xanax prescription and now I have to deal with the legal ramifications with this arrest as well as the cost of an attorney (2k) and to pay the 500$ bond and now the cost of getting the vehicle out of a tow yard. I literally have 300$ to my name because my bank account was hacked and had 200$ stolen from me. I’m terrified my husband will lose his job because he works for an auto insurance company and has fantastic insurance benefits so I can get the best therapy for my child who is going to be 3 next month and cannot say mama or I love you. She talks about as well as a 12-18month old. It’s all gibberish. Anyways now I’m terrified I’m going to lose my husbands income, insurance and he will not be able to get another job with a DUI on his record. We are terrified he will go to jail for 30 days or whatever. I’m so terrified that I’ll lose everything and I don’t know what to do. And please divorce is not an option I can’t be without him I’m just getting really burnt out of not having the help I assumed was earned by being married.