the best relationship I’ve ever been is is also the hardest

a couple weeks ago I posted about my coming out experience, which was extremely shitty and sad but I’ve come to post again because I needed someone to talk to. I have a girlfrienddddd (let’s name her Blossom I was just watching powerpuff girls I promise I’m not 12) okay I have a girlfriend and her name is blossom. She’s 18 years old and her mom is Croatian and her dad is from North Carolina. We’ve been together since late January and dating since March 3. Blossom treats me like an absolute princess. She treats me like a queen and the only girl in the world and she’s so beautiful in every single way inside and out and she makes me so happy. In my coming out post, I had said that Blossoms mom found out about our relationship and forced me to come out to my mom in a way (harsh i KNoW) and it’s been downhill ever since. Blossom makes me happier then anything else in the world and yet I’m not allowed by my parents to see her or hang out with her (doesn’t stop me from sneaking around ik it’s bad but you gotta do what you gotta do.) blossom makes me feel beautiful and loved and wanted, but i fell in love with her because she’s her. To my parents I like the girl because she manipulated me, or brainwashed me, or because I’m traumatized by an earlier encounter with sexual assault in February. They don’t want me to hang out around her because “IM NOT lesbian . Shes lesbian. Don’t want her turning me lesbian”. Over the past couple weeks my parents have explained my feelings to me time and time again, which is funny because if I’m not even sure how it works idrk how they do. Anywayyyssssss.. if you read my other post you know my parents will go to any lengths to keep her away from me, even as far as going to the police and saying she raped me (we had to look up so many laws oml it was exhausting at the end of the day I was with Blossom before she was 18 so) they just do NOT want me around her. I’m going every day being miserable because I cant be happy without making my parents miserable and I know my happiness should only matter to me but because they’re my parents they are a key part of my life. I dont know if I’ll ever forgive Blossoms mom for making me do it because now they treat me differently, they act around me differently, oh and they wONT LET ME SEE HER L O L. They liked her before we came out as dating but now she’s brainwashed me. If someone can please chat with me because honestly I just need someone to talk to , I’m losing my mind . I’m so in love with this girl and we’re practically made for each other, so why is it so hard for the both of us to be with one another? I don’t know whether to leave her and be miserable but have my parents happy or work it with her (which is what we’ve been doing) and have my parents miserable . My happiness should be mattering to them but it’s really not, and I really don’t know what to do anymore. For more information about other homophobic acts my parents have done since I came out you can dm me and give me advice PLEAAASEE I just need someone to talk to of course I always talk to blossom but she’s busy rn and she has a lot going on on her own.

I feel like coming out is supposed to feel like you’re not hiding anymore, like you can be yourself.

Yet I feel like I’m still hiding.