I’m not sure what cum is and if I’ve ever had it

TMI warning. So basically I’m 14, and I’m not sure if it’s my age, but I’ve masturbated before, and the only methods that work is with my shower head, and with my fingers. So I’m not sure if it’s happening or not because of the water, and if it is, does it have a feeling related to it? I just want to figure it out because even when I’m just on my bed I don’t feel anything. Can someone plz tell me what it is?