today is my birthday

I'm 40+1. I tried not to cry but I can't help it. Saturday's contractions really messed with my head and emotions because I don't feel close to labor at all. I've been begging her to come out and telling her all the nice things we have for her and all the fun things we're going to do. I know its not logical, but I feel like she's never going to be in my arms. my husband's at work and all week I sit home alone waiting for baby girl. and Birthdays don't make emotions easier. sorry, just needed to vent

UPDATE.... so now I'm really in tears. I was going to go to my parents house for my birthday. my dad is really sick. so now I can't go over and I worry if I give birth between now and induction date they may not come because baby has no immune system