so over all this

had an appt this morning, was hoping to have progressed. but nope I am still at a 2. I didn't even ask if I was effaced any or not. I need him to hurry up. these fake contractions need to go away. I know they are fake because I was having them all night long and they did not change my cervix at all. I was up half the night crying in pain. nothing I did made it better. my Dr's just keep telling me not to much longer and he will be here. the excitement it gone, the happiness of having a baby boy for the first time is fading fast. I am more miserable than anything. I don't want to lay down in bed Cuz I know I will scream out in pain as soon as I lay down, also told the Dr's this and they said it's normal. I don't want to fall asleep in the chair, Cuz I can't sleep without my so next to me. I need this to be over with