Trying to hold on for these last couple of months until baby girl gets here at I can get back on my feet and I am once again Exhausted to the Max wishing I dumb one here to rub my back or rubbed her fingers through my hair or talk to me...but I'm here alone again but I refuse to live an unhappy life 1. bc of my kids 2. and for myself. my 2 yr old is with is grandma for the night bc she knows I need a break thank God for her Whether she's really doing it for me or for her son for her grandson im just appreciative that she does it at all. my soonbto be ex is out having fun with friends and I'm 8 months prego laying wide awake in bed missing my son worried about my unborn daughter and crying bc I'm unhappy that I brought children into and unhealthy unhappy place.. I guess imnjust feeling sorry for myself. I'm just so miserable Because I don't feel like I'm the mom or person I should be I've struggled a lot with depression and feeling like it's an excuse I I just want to be able to get out of my own way so I can be a great mom to my kids. I grew up with a single mom and I was happy like I don't remember being unhappy as a child she was my everything I just wanna be that for mine. with no man around I'm glad they have a father but for the kids to b happy and myself we can't be together ever. anyways just getting that off my chest