My husband and I have been TTC for 2 years. Since, I’ve managed to conceive twice. The first I lost at 8 weeks, on our wedding anniversary. The second I lost at 8 weeks again around Easter. It’s hit him pretty hard and without talking to me he has now decided that we are no longer TTC.

We argued about it last week. I know that he is sad about it but he can’t just make this decision on his own. I hoped that after a few days he would calm down and we would continue trying. But he hasn’t.

He told me, in the middle of our argument, that I don’t know how he feels. A part of me wanted to scream. Of course I know how he feels. I want him to understand that I feel it too. I felt the guilt, the anger, the desperation and the sadness. I had the physical pain. I know he is just trying to process his own emotions and that he doesn’t mean it. It’s just so hard to move forward. I feel like communicating my emotions makes him worse.

I’m lucky to have a supportive network of friends that I can talk to about this, but he is so private that he won’t open up to anybody but me.

We were also raised very differently. My mother always taught me that things will always work out when they are supposed to. He doesn’t believe that. He was always taught that if it doesn’t work, it’s his fault.

I really want to support him as best as possible, but being the man he is, he would never openly accept it. He prefers to be the rock in our relationship.