So some back story here, my husbands birthday was July 1st. I decided to plan a last minute surprise birthday party at my family's house because they have a pool and nice backyard for everyone to have fun. I wanted my husband to have a good bday bc he's been very stressed lately. I invited everyone from his family & mine. Everyone from his family replied some said they were coming some said they couldn't make it. I knew it was last minute so I wasn't upset that some already had plans. Specifically though his sister replied to me and said okay cool. So I took that as she was free and could make it.

Now her sons 4th birthday party that he was sharing with his cousin on his father's side was planned for the day before my husbands birthday and we were planning on attending. However when the day came it was my husbands first Saturday off in months, bc we have been struggling financially due to an unfortunate car wreck we had recently gotten into. My husband had been promising to work on my cousins car bc her ac was out (90°-100°F weather) & he decided to work on it & she was paying him. I was at my family's house getting ready for the surprise party. I texted my husband to remind him of the party and then called him an hour before to see what we were doing bc we needed to get together to leave & head there.

This party was on the other side of town & was at a public swimming pool. My husband told me he really didn't want to go bc he didn't feel like driving that far out of the way & that he didn't want to swim in a public place esp not with a bunch of kids. He also said that we had already celebrated his bday with him on his actual bDAY. Which we did, we all went over to his sisters house, barbequed, sang happy birthday & ate cake. He then said he would rather finish the car he was working on bc she was paying him & before he ran out of sunlight & wouldn't be able to finish. So we decided not to go. I honestly didn't feel like it was a big deal. We knew we weren't the only family that decided not to go. His aunt & uncles family also didn't go & neither did the dad which is the boy's grandfather.

Well my husbands birthday came & she called him got mad at him for not going even after he explained the reasoning behind it. At this point he didn't know there was a party planned for him, so the day went on & we got to my family's house & he was surprised. Well there weren't many people in his family that came. His parents & two cousins. I honestly wasn't mad. He kept asking about his sister though. So his mom called her and texted her & his cousin called her. She decided to ignore everyone. At this point I was curious as to what the problem was, but didn't say anything. Then his mom made a comment about how she probably isn't coming bc she is mad yall didn't go yesterday. So at this point both my husband & I are pissed.

I'm pissed bc my husband is obviously hurt & bc I feel like that is the pettiest thing I've ever heard of. I didn't say anything to anyone, I just honestly didn't understand how us not going to her sons birthday party could cause such animosity. So then the 4th of July rolls around, his family has a gathering we all go. We get there before his sister & her family. By the time they get there we are swimming. No I did not speak to her or tell her hello. Momma said if you have nothing nice to say don't say nothing at all. Nor did she say anything to me. Her husband on the other hand did say hello and him & I spoke a few times & I was nice. Honestly if she had told me hello, I ofcourse would have responded.

Well life goes on. Then yesterday she texted my husband bc he didn't visit her in her office. They work for the same company, he works in the field and her the office. So she texted him saying bye, guess you're mad at me, idk why. He texted back saying why do think I'm mad you, she said well you came into the office building and never came to my office to say hello and said I ignored her on the 4th. He told her why we were upset & how we felt. She then said she was fucking pissed and that I (me) never once said anything about her sons birthday. She basically blamed me for us not attending. Acting like I would keep him away from his family, which I've never done. So my husband responded saying it was his decision & explaining again what we had going on that day & also included screenshots of the text I had sent to him that day showing I had reminded him of the party & what time it was for that morning. She came back with how her sons birthday party was more important than anything else we had going on that day and that I planned a party at the last minute & expected everyone to make it which isn't possible. I already knew that. Then she said that he needs to grow up, that he is childish & he is 25yo & that he is crying bc we didn't make it to his birthday party boohoo. She said grow tf up. She said we are both childish & selfish. She then also told him yeah she didn't go bc she's tired on Sundays & she was pissed so she decided not to go.

Now this is where I'm livid, SO YOU JUST CALLED MY HUSBAND & I SELFISH & CHILDISH & THEN LITERALLY PROCEEDED TO TELL US HOW THE ONLY REASON YOU DIDNT COME WAS BC YOU WERE TIRED (cop out) & PISSED OFF ABOUT US NOT GOING TO YOUR SONS BDAY PARTY. HOW HAS ANY OF THIS GOTTEN TO THIS POINT. I FEEL LIKE THIS IS SO BEYOND PETTY. I DONT CARE THAT SHE DIDNT COME TO A LAST MINUTE BDAY PARTY, THE ONLY REASON I CARE AT ALL IS HER REASONING BEHIND HER NOT COMING & HER BEING MAD ABOUT US NOT GOING THE DAY BEFORE. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BIRTHDAY & EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HER BEING MAD ABOUT SOMETHING SO TRIVIAL & TREATING US LIKE SHIT ABOUT IT. HAD I KNOWN THIS IS HOW IT WAS GOING TO GO DOWN I WOULD HAVE JUST WENT TO THE FUCKING BIRTHDAY PARTY BY MYSELF IF I HAD TO. I am so sorry for the long ass post, but I had to get this off my chest. Please thoughts. Are we in the wrong, is she in the wrong, are we both in the wrong? I honestly cant deal with this anymore in my brain. I'm also sorry if this isn't the right group, wasn't sure where to put this.