i dont know what to do.

so my father was abusive... he died when I was in 4th grade... so because of this I have problems with abuse and when people raise their voice. I guess I'm afraid things will repeat themselves. I've been having a lot of trouble with myself lately especially my weight. I just got yelled at for throwing away my mums pepperoni that was expired.. so I start talking to my bf about it and I kept crying and I just felt like he wasn't really understanding what was wrong. and so he made me promise that is he hung up and called back 30 min later that I wouldn't do anything and I would pic up the phone. currently I am in my room an no one but him has any clue that anything is wrong. then one of the girls who is "a friend" texts me and I go off on her because she keeps asking me if I'm alright and I just feel like he sent her to babysit. and I just don't know what to do anymore. I understand that he is worried because I did once upon a time hurt myself but I promised I wouldn't do it again. and he knows I don't break a promise. it just upsets me because I feel like I'm poison. and that no one cares. I have a date at kings Island with him on Saturday with his father and step mother and all I can think about is how I don't want to eat and what they would think if they found out.