Ocd, rituals, intrusive thoughts. Help!

I need help.. today i had a break down in front of my boyfriend because i just couldn’t take it. He just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get that it’s a mental illness & i truly struggle and suffer from these thoughts. I feel like a lot of people that aren’t really educated on this topic just think i can ignore it and go about my day and that’s what happen after a great day/night we had it ended horrible because he was getting mad i couldn’t stop the rituals. I’m pregnant & i just started crying because i truly just want to be happy during pregnancy not in a constant state of fear! And that’s all i do every day morning to night. I’ve been to counselor after counselor and none of them seem to really know wtf their talking about and i refuse to go on medication while pregnant. Just need some advice 🙁 idk what to do anymore. An example of the anxiety is every hour to 11 minutes i have to make a wish while making that wish I’ll have a bad thought and will have to pray to God until it feels right to make it not happen. It really stresses me out not only that but i don’t want my baby to suffer with anxiety 🙁 i don’t want them to ever feel this way. Argh 😤 anyone with experience feel free to put your input