I ruined my marriage... here’s how. (Long post)

I’ve been with my significant other for awhile now, for about 7 years. I’ve know him since I was 20, so I literally grew with him. We recently got married through the court house back in July of 2017, wasn’t my way of getting married but it had to be done, for his work purposes. I was debating whether or not to get married because it was too fast too soon, I like to enjoy every mile stone in my life, dating, engagement, marriage life, etc, etc. not that I didn’t want to marry him because I love him and my end goal was always him. I see him in my future and as the father of our future kids one day. He’s an amazing man, I couldn’t ask for anything else. So, we end up moving overseas because of his job, and I had to leave everything again, my job, my friends I made, my family, my dogs, and sell my car. Fast forward, we were doing so well overseas, well he was, but I started to get depress and getting to myself and how maybe this wasn’t such a good move for me, I was severely home sick, and I missed working so much. I am such a independent person that I felt like I wasn’t bringing anything to the table of our marriage anymore. Fast forward, I ended up going home, (I was home for 3 months) I ended up cheating on my husband with an “old friend” caught an std (curable) but I ended passing onto my husband. I was going to tell him that I cheated on him but he end up finding out in his own, due to the fact I gave him an std. My husband is a strong man mentally and physically, but this right here broke his heart, his ego, his soul, his everything. & it broke me too. I made a stupid mistake because I felt all alone at the time and I felt worthless. THAT’S not excuse but that’s how I was feeling, now I’m trying to fix what is left from my marriage. I know I don’t deserve him, I know he deserves better, I know what I done can never be forgotten. It just sucks because I realized this all to late, and I ruin the one thing that was so well for me in my life. The one thing I was certain about. I have to deal with the consequences of the mistake I made.... I just needed to clear my mind a bit ...