Not sure how to feel

My mom recently went into the hospital. She was in the hospital earlier this year because she needed a blood transfusion and then again in May for surgery. Now she has septic cellulitis. Her face, her ears and one of her eyes was swollen. She had been complaining of a headache and wanting to throw up, but every time I asked if she wanted to go to the hospital she said no. The day the swelling started she finally agreed to go. She also had a fever. This was Friday. Today, the swelling has gone down, but she’s been having hallucinations. They started late Friday after she had been taken to a room. The hallucinations are not getting better. Right now she thinks the hospital is trying to poison her and they plan to kill me and my dad to get our houses. And that my uncle (my dad’s brother) is behind it all. I know he’s not the nicest man and he does think we should give him our houses (that’s a whole other issue), but I don’t think he would go this far. She’s hearing conversations that aren’t happening. I’ve been with her during some of them and there’s literally no else around. And if there is they’re talking about something else, not what she’s saying. She’s also been seeing cats, bugs, planes and kites. But those she’s willing to accept are not real. But the being poisoned, to her it’s very real. This morning it changed to where I was behind it but then it changed back to being my uncle. A neurologist is suppose to see her because they’re worried it may be dementia.

I just feel so frustrated and overwhelmed. This is causing me so much stress that I’ve been feeling sick. I don’t have any siblings that could help out, so it’s all on me. My dad can only help so much. The family members I trust don’t live close enough, so I can’t ask them for help. What makes me feel worse is that before this I was on purposely taking extra hours at work or I would take my time coming home because I was feeling so suffocated by her. I’m for the most part her caregiver but my dad is retired takes care of her when I’m at work. Part of me feels like I have a chance to have my freedom and the other part of me feels like I don’t know what I would do without her. I feel like I’m a bad daughter and sometimes the things she says or does just feels like she’s confirming that I am a bad daughter. I know she wants to come home and it hurts to tell her she can’t because the hallucinations make it hard to care for her. I just feel like I don’t know what to do. I feel so lonely. For anyone who managed to get through this long post, thank you. I feel like I really don’t have anyone to talk to and I really needed to get this out