His parents don’t like me

* disclaimer * this post might be long but i desperately need advice !!!!! “

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now . In those two years we’ve met each other’s families and our families are complete opposites .

My family is very warm , welcoming and easy going much like my boyfriend is so they all get along and hes always felt comfortable around them .

His family is the complete opposite his parents are as my boyfriend would describe : very cold, awkward and not talkative .

I feel like they don’t like me no matter how many times he tells me they do like me .

Let me tell y’all . .. his family specifically his parents have almost been a deal breaker for me bc I feel that if I end up marrying him I’m marrying his family as well . and I still do not feel welcome at all .

In 2 years that we’ve been together his dad has said hello to me maybe 3 times . It took an entire year for his father to acknowledge me even when I would say hello to him I’d get no response . His mom is a bit nicer she will talk to me or say hello back but I always feel extremely awkward in their presence . I’m never invited to family functions meanwhile my family always wants my boyfriend to come . My bf always tells me to come but they never invite me .

When I met his parents on the first day within 2 seconds his mom drilled me with questions before I even set foot in their house . And they weren’t normal questions like where do you go to school or something no . His mother literally asked me if I was illegal in the country ... or what my status was ... we’re both Hispanic so it wasn’t a racist thing . But also wtf kind of question is that .

Anyway , I tend to cook and bake a lot and I bring my boyfriend food very often and when him or myself would offer his mom some she’d look at it as if I put poop on the plate and gave It to her and always refuses to even try it.

Now here’s my problem my boyfriends birthday is comming up and his family is having a bbq for another family member who’s birthday it is as well as my bfs . My bf is leaving on vacation the following day so if I don’t go to this bbq I won’t see him for his bday . I don’t feel comfortable at his house or around his family and I really really really don’t want to go . But I’m scared that if I don’t he’ll be disappointed .

We recently had a long conversation about all this . And he basically said :

" my parents aren't warm welcoming people they're cold and awkward and they're not going to change so you have to try harder . You have to think about marriage you're not just marrying me you're marrying my family too . "

“ If my moms cleaning up or something offer to help try to talk more bc you're a dope person and they need to get to know you more . I'm not gunna force you or make you come on that day or be mad at you if you don't but I want you to know you shouldn't feel unwanted bc if my parents didn't want you here they would tell you "

The whole conversation really got to me . And I love him and I want to make him happy . But the fact of the matter is I just fed absolutely uncomfortable and unwanted at his house the only family member that’s been welcoming of me has been his sister . But everyone else either acts like I don’t exist or doesn’t talk to me even if I speak to them .

I did use to try in the past but i stopped for a lot of those reasons ...

I’m sorry this is so long , I just want some honest advice ❤️. Idk what to do if I should go or if I shouldn’t . Or how to make the situation better ...