I need help...

So I’m not the kind of person who can just go up to people and tell them how I feel. I never want to be an inconvenience, so I bottle it all up. I’ve bottled up so much I hate being around people including my family. I am starting to get thoughts of self-harm and death, and I have never had them before. I feel like my world is closing in around me, and I have no one to turn to. And it’s not like I can get therapy or something. I live in a small town and I can’t legally drive to an appointment of some kind yet. I just need to tell someone even if you don’t know me. Sorry, for wasting your time on this.