My heart is so broken.

At 5w5d I went to the Er for some bleeding and was told I had a blighted ovum and offered the usual 3 options but I waited and got a second opinion because I just didn’t want it to be true. We have wanted this little one for so long.

At 7w4d I saw my sweet baby with a nice strong heartbeat of 156

At 9w3d I went for my usual prenatal appointment and had an ultrasound and was told baby measured 8+6 with no heartbeat (estimated to have lost its life on Sunday which was my husbands birthday) I’m so so so so crushed. I feel like I lost this baby twice.

I had a blood draw yesterday and will do another Monday and I have a follow up scan on Thursday. I’m so scared of the actual miscarriage. I don’t know which option to choose, mainly because I don’t want to come to terms with knowing that this little one inside of me is gone