Grrrr 😠😫

Today I got up at 4:30am and set off on the 150 mile trip to a ferry terminal to take my step son back to his mothers house. He lives abroad and this is the only route- one ferry per day. We hit some crazy chaotic traffic on the way due to some traffic light malfunction (all four lights were green and police had to direct traffic), and I called the ferry company to explain that I would arrive 5 minutes after check-in closed and asked if it would be possible to still board the ferry. The lady said she understood and a note was put onto the system stating the situation.

We were travelling as foot passengers so it literally was a case of just not shutting the gate and holding the bus (from the terminal to the boat) until we got there. When we arrived, there was still 35 minutes until the ferry was due to leave (foot passengers need to be there up to 40 mins before) but the gate was locked up and we were refused access to the ship. I explained the situation again and pleaded with the manager manning the check-in desk to let us board, but she point blank refused to do anything for us and tried to walk away.

I started explaining that my step son needed to get to back to his Mum today and that we really really needed to get him there today, and asked if we could walk across to the boat with her if we wore the appropriate hi-vis jackets. Again, no. I explained that we were frequent travellers and that I understood how the process worked, and she interrupted me to say that if I knew so much, surely I would know the correct time that check-in closed and wouldn’t have arrived late.

I was getting obviously frustrated at the complete lack of help and I tried to get through an open fire exit door leading directly to the outdoor area so I could walk over the boat with my step son. I could literally see the boat through the door and the door passenger walkway was still in place- we could have been there in about 30 seconds. I do admit that I acted irrationally trying to bypass security, and I apologised for it, but her lack of empathy pushed my buttons wrong. I was stopped by a security guard and as I was explaining, she came over to the fire exit door huffing and puffing, shouting “no no no, don’t let her through” and I pleaded with her again. She said she understood, and I said that actually, she really didn’t understand the whole situation and why it was vital to get him back today (explained below) and while I was saying this my step son started getting upset on the realisation that he wouldn’t be going home today, which visibly upset me. I went to cuddle him and started explaining my reasons but was not being very clear as I was also trying to comfort my step son while fighting back my own tears. She rolled her eyes and interrupted with “yeah, you need to calm down. You’re not getting on the boat today, end of” which really was NOT the right thing to say and I raised my voice saying that I didn’t need to calm down, I needed to get on the damn boat. My step son and I left immediately then as I didn’t want to be there when I was that angry. It’s not my style and it takes a lot to work me up so much to the point that I get loud.

So we got back to the car, my step son is crying badly, I am shaken up, stressed, hungry, and absolutely exhausted. By this time it was 9:15am, and we had the 150 mile trip back home ahead of us. I calmed the little man down and we gathered ourselves before heading off. His mum was annoyed but understood that it wasn’t my fault which was a relief as she isn’t usually the easiest person to deal with. We turned our morning around and went for breakfast and I took him shopping to spend the pocket money that he was going to take back and spend together when we got off the boat. He learnt about “silver linings” and the value of letting go and moving on when a situation is not in your control.

We’re finally home and I’ve just had to explain what happened a few times to my boyfriend, my parents, and the neighbours who knew he was going back today, and the more I say it, the more furious I get. She knew nothing about our situation and wasn’t interested in finding out why I was so desperate to get him home today. She was rude as hell and totally unhelpful. We have to go back tomorrow to get the next available crossing. Another 300 mile round trip. Another £90 in petrol, tolls, and parking. Another 4:30am start. Another 19 hour day. And all because we were five minutes late. I know the rules are in place for a reason, I really do. But there is leeway. There are options. She literally had to get onto the boat herself so for her to say that it was impossible to board was a straight up lie. My partner and I have been using this company for over 3 years, making two trips (one to get him and one to take him back) every 6 weeks- they’ve had a lot of our money, and I know this doesn’t entitle me to special treatment but I would have thought that loyalty worked both ways. We made a complaint about this particular manager roughly 18 months ago for a separate issue, and she has been awkward ever since- trying to make us pay additional fees for baggage despite it being within the allowance, calling us both out separately over the boats tannoy system to “check our tickets”, and trying to refuse us entry to the boat on another occasion because our tickets had been “booked incorrectly”, which they weren’t. It’s just always something with her. I will also add that the terminal NEVER EVER EVER clears out that quickly. I’ve boarded this same boat at the same terminal 53 times. I know how it goes. Of those 53 times I’ve been at the terminal, not once have all of the passengers boarded the ship with half an hour spare. NEVER has that gate been locked that soon. From her past discriminatory behaviour I am tempted to believe that she saw the note on the system, recognised my name, and boarded the passengers as soon as she could to ensure that gate was locked before I arrived. She even said that she didn’t see any note stating that the bus was to wait for us, and when I said that I know she would have seen it because passengers tickets are scanned as they go through security, and for anyone who is missing a message flags on the main check-in screen on all of the computers in the terminal, and this flagged message needs to be acknowledged and overridden before the gate can be closed- I have seen this happen a few times as the computers are very visible- she got flustered and said “well even if there WAS a message, I’m not obliged to do accommodate every little request made of me in order to suit you” 😠

Maybe I should have asked her to come and drive us home and then take us back tomorrow. Maybe she should have been the one explaining to a six year old why he couldn’t go on his Scouts camping trip. Maybe she should have sat in the boiling hot car with us trying to comfort him.

My 9 month old stayed with my parents last night due to my early start today, which killed me as he’s been very ill with a stomach bug all week. He was due to be dropped off back at our house this evening so his dad could look after him (and I was supposed to arrive home again at around 11pm tonight) but now that we have to go back for the ferry tomorrow morning, I have to spend another two nights away from my ill baby because his dad is working until 10pm tomorrow which is too late for the baby to be brought home. I’m just want to cuddle him but now I won’t get to even see him for two days.

Sigh 🙁 sorry for the long post. I am so frustrated 😒