Confused ?

Question

I’m slowly deteriorating. Mentally and emotionally. I’m so confused because y whole life I’ve believed in god (I’m Christian) and never for even a second doubted or questioned it. But now these scary thoughts have been filling my mind. Like is god even real? How is that possible. Am I going to hell for questioning this? Now I’m at the point where I want to believe in god but I’m scared not to believe in him because I’ll go to hell. Like he’s given me all these things that I don’t deserve but I can’t even believe in him. And I desperately want to believe in god. And I’ve been praying about it but sometimes it feels like im just looking at the ceiling praying to something that doesn’t exist. But does it even matter if he’s “real”. Like I don’t think there’s a white man sitting in the clouds. I believe god loves me and protects me and believes in me. Yet I’m still questioning it. It’s freaking MADNESS. And i feel so helpless and lost. I just want it to stop. I want to believe in god 110%. I just don’t know how. The people on this app are the only people I can talk to because god hasn’t replied, I’m being sarcastic, my family won’t understand. I moved to another state so I don’t have any close friends. except for one but I don’t know if she can help. I haven’t been to church in a while. I just need help. I’m so lost😞
UPDATE: I’ve been renewing my faith by believing in the Lord and banishing any doubts I have in Him. I definitely still have a lot of work to do but every day I make sure to remind myself of all that God does for me and that He loves me and that he will help me through this tough time. I’m also going to start reading the bible every morning.

Answer

In John 3:16 it says, “For God loves the world so much that He sent His only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not die but have everlasting life.”
According to the Lord in this verse, all we have to do is believe that His Son Jesus is who He says He is: the Son of God. Believe that Jesus came to do what He promised: died and rose again on our behalf. According to God’s Word, this is how we get to heaven. 
Jesus also says in John 10:28, “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.” According to Jesus in this verse, there is nothing that can take away your eternal life. Nothing can take away your place in heaven.
In Romans 8 it says, “Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? ... In all things we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
God has made it clear several times how much He loves you. No sin, no shame, no past, no pain can make Jesus stop loving you (Jesus Culture, “Unstoppable Love”).
All that I have written above are not my words but the words that the Lord has written to you in His Word. 
Jesus loves you so much. He suffered for you. He died for you. He came back to life for you. And He would do it all over again if He had to, but He doesn’t. He is ultimate, perfect sacrifice for our sins. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
What God is saying here is that there is nothing we have to do except believe. Jesus did all the work for us. We don’t need to do anything to get to heaven. Now doing good deeds and good works are important in walking with Jesus, but they have nothing to do with our salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord. 
You probably didn’t even read any of that I made it so long lol. Sorry, I hope this helped. Remember, those aren’t my opinions up there, those are God’s Words in the Bible. <3

Answer

I think you can start reading the Bible and yes God is good to you even if we don't deserve it but his grace and love is unending. God is love that's why he is there for u . God is there maybe closer than u think u just need to listen closely get in contact with Christians.  If you want to know if God really exists start listing all the good stuff u had and thank hin for it and thank hin also for bad stuff u overcome and ask him to help u to get closer to him and to say in his word meditate on psalm verses for example

Answer

also I remember reading the Bible and it said (basically) that all you had to do was follow the Bible and believe in Jesus and god and you would go to heaven. I used to think it was so easy like of course I believe in the lord. But now i just don’t know. And nothing triggered these thoughts. I guess one day I was like what if god isn’t real and we’re all believing in something fake. But then I was like no! God is real and he loves me, etc. but now those thoughts are plaguing my mind and I’m scared to live. Because I feel like I’m living a lie and I’m scared I’m gonna end up dying soon because I’m questioning my faith and once I die I will go to hell because I didn’t have time to renew my faith in him.

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