Depressed and 4 months pregnant

I have never felt so broken, lost, confused and hurt in my life. I have the best support system since the baby daddy isn’t in my life. I just feel so sad because I want that type of support. I want the father figure or a male figure to be there for me. I know I should be strong and independent about this all but it just hurts and I just feel so alone. I cry myself to sleep most nights and I feel like I’m only making it worse for my baby. Idk what to do...I’m just so sad. I feel like I have no one to talk to and it sucks. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I break down so much more now. I wish i could be more excited but I’m not. I get excited for a while then I get sad. I wish I could tell my friends or family but I just can’t. And I know I should tell my doctor but idk how...I just want this sadness to go away.