Anxious, excited, scared, but always faithful!

I have always wanted to be a mom. The more older I get, the more I crave motherhood and all of its challenges, joys, and trustworthiness! I will admit, for the longest time (a few years ago), I was so disgusted by child birth and knew I wasn’t up for the long nights and poopy diapers. But, here I am, 22, married to my best friend, and we are ready to start trying! I am SO excited for this journey, but, I am also anxious. What if it doesn’t work the first time? What if once I see the positive test I actually feel opposite of joy? What if my husband truly isn’t ready, but only saying he is so I stop bringing up my baby fever? My biggest self battle right now is that I am an employee at a school district, so I feel SO much pressure to make this happen ASAP so that I can have the baby by June and take summer school off so I can enjoy baby and motherhood. I don’t think our school has the best maternity leave, as I remember a co worker from last year struggling to figure out what to do because she was due in the winter.

I am just continuing to keep faith that the Lord has a plan and that what I think and want to happen, may not, at least on my own timeline.

It’s funny.. at work, I have SO much patience for my students, but when it comes to MY OWN plans and dreams, I struggle with staying grounded in patience in God.

Just had to throw this out there. 😅