hurting

so i finally told the guy that i’ve had a crush on for the last year that i had a crush on him. but the only fault in all of it is, that he is leaving for college tomorrow. and it really sucks, cause i really really like him. and i’m gonna miss him so damn much. and his response to me telling him was “wish you woulda sent this earlier this summer”. but i was so nervous with how he was goin to react to it. and i didnt want it to affect our friendship, and i told him that and he had said that it wouldn’t have affected our friendship. and i’m pissed with myself, bc of that. i wish i could go back a few months, so then i could tell him sooner before he left. but it’s too late for that now, and it really sucks. cause he has made me feel different than any other crush i’ve ever had. and ugh!!! i’m just really hurting right now, and i really don’t want him to leave. but it’s happening and there’s nothing i can do to stop it and i hate it and it just sucks. and hurts. and yeah, i’m just a big fucking mess right now. ugh....😭😭💔💔💔