anxiety

I’ve never actually been diagnosed by a doctor or a therapist with anxiety. I’ve always known that I’ve been anxious in certain situations but never the way that has been going on recently. Yesterday I was going to church like I do every Wednesday. There was nothing hugely different or upsetting that had happened or that was going to happen that night except that I think I had an anxiety attack.

(Now, please correct me if I’m wrong about what was happening to me)

I just felt like every article of clothing I tried on made me look fat and every thing I did to my hair looked stupid and all I could think about was how much I hated my body and how much my friends probably hate it too. All this fear just washed over me and I couldn’t breathe with the thought of going to church or even leaving my room in my own body. Now, I love church so it was so unlike me not want to go to church but I didn’t want to move. It was almost like my mind was holding me back and I couldn’t get up off the floor and put my shoes on or do my hair. I didn’t want to wear jeans, or shorts, or a dress, or a skirt, or a jumper, or a romper. I tried on everything in my closet and nothing made me feel like ‘me’ again. I just felt trapped and consumed with fear and anxiety. I couldn’t breathe. My dad, who never realized what was happening, eventually had to force me out of my room. So I went to church anyway and I saw my boyfriend and I was almost scared to talk to him because I felt so undeserving so I just sat in silence and listened to him talk to our friends. And I’m so scared because I felt like such a terrible undeserving (girl)friend and family member.

Does anyone who knows what they’re talking about know if that was a panic attack or not? If not do you know why it was? and how do you handle it?