I can't stop lying!!! 🤔😔

okay so the thing I've realised is that I'm a person who's much more comfortable with lying than telling the truth. I know that sounds awful.

The thing is I think it's because whenever I tell the truth or am open/honest about myself I feel embarrassed and vulnerable because I'm insecure, so instead I lie.

The thing is my life is kind of split in 2 now, I moved schools this year and the person I was before that was so much more different to the person I am now; I'm way way happier and generally just in such a better place whereas before I was so much more unhappy, insecure and generally a different person.

So the thing is now that I have this new life ive been able to become a person that I've always wanted to be, but the problem is I still feel like I have something to prove to the people in my past, which is partly but not wholly the reason I lie. I wish I could stop caring what they thought but I don't know how to plus I live in a fairly small town where they could bump into me so I always feel alert that I'm gping to see them. ( these people are my old friends btw who I now have a weird relationship with)

The other problem is that I generally just have a problem with being open/honest because I feel I have more to lose when I'm honest with people about myself. I really just don't know how to let go but I want to.

Any help ladies?? 😓