what do i do?

so my bf and i were hooking up and i was like grinding on-top of him for id say 15/20 mon. i wont complain about that bc it felt good, but i was like about to cum and he’s like ok i’m about to bust can u smd? i was like i guess so but only if u let me finish after he’s like, like finger you? i’m like uh yeah? and he goes “i really don’t want to” keep in mind he hasn’t in 3 weeks. so i was like ya know what? whatever so i sucked it until he busted and he was like ur mad and im like im not mad im in pain. because if u dont cum when your about to it hurts, at least for me. so i was trying to avoid crying bc down there hurt and also i felt disgusting because my boyfriend of one year doesn’t even wanna touch me. i started crying and he was like oh no whats wrong? being all sweet and i was like why don’t you like me anymore and he said he still was in love with me he just doesn’t wanna do stuff like that but he wants it done to him. what do i do because i cant be the only one doing the work for the sexual part of the relationship