I’m tired of it

I’m tired of always texting him first. I’m tired of him never speaking to me and when he does it’s barely more than three Syllables. We have not seen eachother in 6 months we have barely spoken in 6 months. What am I holding on to? Nothing. We dated for two years, me 16-19 him 19-21. I’m only holding onto to whatever this is for selfish reasons. He’s the only guy to ever be interested in me. You know what i don’t even care anymore. We’ve been through so much. We’ve fought a lot. He was my first kiss. Lost my virginity to him. Got drunk for the first time. Smoked weed for the first time, got pregnant had an abortion. Both beat eachother up. My mom hate him his parents hate me, so why am I even upset and why do I have a hard time letting this person go from my life.