i’ve been having a really tough time in my life. for the whole year i’ve been stressing with my exams and having it hard to pass them. in my friends-social life only have a “bestfriend” and a boyfriend to stand by me. im not much close with my parents even tho i love them very much, but there’s things i cant talk to them about.

i’ll turn 18 in a month. and this summer was a mess for me.

i’ll go back to nearly 2 months back then when i started experiencing a pregnancy scare. to start first by telling that i am still a virgin and never had a penis penetrate me in any form. ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years. 7/7.5 weeks from now, we were on a trip together and done some things since we were alone. we both got naked & i grinded on him. he also rubbed me for a 2 minutes. he didnt ejaculate. i stopped what we were doing cause i really freaked out.

we got dressed and for a moment i started crying myself out. i was so scared that for a moment i could have ended doing a mistake and end up having unprotected sex. i just couldnt imagine😫.

since then, ive been overthinking it, worrying im pregnant by grinding on him.

i got my period after that. i tested 3 negative pregnancy tests after my period ended. but nothing could make me calm down. i started pushing my boyfriend off from me and my bestfriend started to not stand me anymore thinking im crazy.

i waited for my next period on August. it came too. 2-3 days were heavy&medium and the last days lighter, it lasted 6 days.

after it ended, im still here worrying and going crazy looking at my belly all the time..

i feel like my body is aching and my head is exploding.

i tested again with about 7+ tests, and they all came negative. i couldnt trust them, i decided to take a blood test and got a : 0.05 hcg result. the doctor said its the average of every woman’s normal hcg level. told me that both men and women has it. but still, i cant believe. i dont have any symptom of pregnancy but my head is playing me. im paranoid and waiting for my next period. and reading stories on the internet where woman say they got negatives, periods, and never noticed they were pregnant...at the end, i ended up finding this app. the only place i could open my mind and share what’s going on with me.

i hope someone can help and tell me what’s going on..when will this be over. my life has always been such a mess, but this only made it worse.

i also dont know what would i do if i was pregnant, it would be such a disappointment for my partens and family, they would disown me for sure..😓

i would hate myself too, i was planning to get a scholarship and start university soon, become a successful woman, but this has broken my dreams and plans..

i hope its not the wrong group im posting