It gets better... (BFP)

Let’s go into the past real quick;

November 6th 2017 I found out I was pregnant. I had all the signs. My coworker noticed I seemed different and randomly bought me a pregnancy test... BOOM. Positive. I’ve never been so confused about my emotions. It was my first time being pregnant and I was SO HAPPY. Except.. my boyfriend was not happy.

We argued for days. I told him I wanted the baby and that was that. I couldn’t imagine getting an abortion. Long story short, I ended up at planned parenthood. I did the unimaginable. But my fears got to me; the father of this child is an alcoholic, we weren’t getting along, my biological father wasn’t in my life (never did meet him until I was 18- now 23) and what if I had his child and it was just going to be another toxic relationship? Of course protection was used, I was on the pill. I didn’t know what happened.

Fast forward to 2018

I was nationally and state certified as an EMT as of December 2017. I started my service in January 2018. I was still with my boyfriend... then came February I was diagnosed in the ER with PID. What is PID? Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. From what? I DID NOT KNOW! 1 week later after the test, they told me I had chlamydia that turned into PID which was a nasty infection. I was on 3 different antibiotics that made me feel gross.. how did I get Chlamydia? From my boyfriend. He never admitted to it, but with new sex partners I get checked. I didn’t think of anything since we started dating April 2017, and then before my abortion, I got another swab test and I came back negative for STD’s... and now? Positive for an STD? After he went on his Ski vacation- it all seemed to make sense.

I finally broke up with him. I was happy. The emotional stress of the relationship, the drinking, the toxicity of the relationship changed who I am.

I met a man in my medical profession and we hit it off.

I told my new partner I couldn’t have sex for a while due to the fear of giving the STD that I had and how I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone.. especially being cheated on, capturing an STD, and holding it to turn into PID? He stuck with me. We learned about each other more than trying to get into each other’s pants right away.

He gave me the best thing I ever needed, patience.

Thankfully my Gyno told me none of my reproductive system looked damaged, but it looked healthy. (From PID)

Fast forwarding to August;

Last night (August 27th) I told my amazing partner to get my pregnancy tests since I felt *different*. After my long 16 hour shift- I immediately got my BFP. I didn’t have to wait, it instantly turned positive.

I assume I’m 4 weeks since the first day of my last period was July 31st.

I was not planning for a pregnancy, but I’m not preventing it- neither is my boyfriend.

It’s been such a journey through trust issues, feeling like I was suffocating and I had to get an abortion because my ex boyfriend wanted me to feel like absolute crap and tell me that kid is going to end up like me- fatherless (which is not entirely true, but let’s stay on topic)

NO MATTER WHAT, you will always find a partner that will stick by you. No matter your past, what you’ve done, and you can be forgiven.

I finally get to experience what is a loving relationship, and feed that through this pregnancy and into this child.

I really do hope everyone gets the happy ending no matter how many obstacles they go through.

Remember, your family and friends are there for you. You NEED emotional support to get through anything, because you aren’t meant to deal with everything on your own.

You are loved and you matter.