Feeling unreal.. I love my baby but..?

Question

I was induced Thursday and had my baby Friday. Tonight is my first night home. She is in the NICU for low blood sugar. She should be home soon though. 
Is it weird that I don’t feel super connected to her yet? Like... she’s my first baby and she makes me a little nervous. I don’t feel totally comfortable holding her yet because she is so small and fragile feeling. She is only 5lbs. She is beautiful and I love her obviously. I just don’t feel that immediate amazing maternal bond that I think other moms feel. It makes me feel weird like there’s something wrong with me. Everyone was saying Oh don’t worry you will feel it when they put her on your chest for the first time. 
And I did feel very emotional seeing her and I still do. I’m just nervous I guess. I feel like the nurses are judging me sometimes. I just want to have her home so we can get to know each other a little better.

Answer

I’m going to be super honest - I did not feel that overwhelming emotional love that’s all consuming with crying etc. that people talk about with either of my kids right after they were born. I loved them, for sure, but it’s definitely grown with time. I think people make such a big deal about “not knowing live until you see your child for the first time” that it creates an expectation that isn’t reflective of everyone’s experience. 
It will get better when you’re alone. It will also get better as you get some rest and aren’t in a state of total exhaustion. The first few weeks are so overwhelming physically and emotionally plus you’re second guessing every decision it’s hard to know what you’re feeling. 
Don’t feel down on yourself! If you don’t feel liking you’re bonding at all (which doesn’t seem to be what you’re describing) talk to your Dr. about possible PPD.

Answer

It’s okay to feel love and nervousness for her at the same time. It’s a huge adjustment. I’m sure that maternal bond is a little bit different for everyone. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re new at this! I hope you get her home soon and don’t have the stress of others being around like at the hospital.

Answer

My husband cried like 5 times while in the hospital after I gave birth. My mom even made a comment like why aren’t you smiling. Idk maybe Bc this kid ripped my vagina and I feel like death lol 
I did not cry once...🤷🏼‍♀️ i was in so much pain since I tore. I barely held, fed, changed him while in the hospital. So my husband connected with him before I did. 
We’ve been home only 4 days now and I’m obsessed and in love with this little boy. I did a 180 once I got home. It’s just hard and overwhelming being at the hospital.

Feeling unreal.. I love my baby but..?

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