Separating process

I don’t know what i have done. My husband and i seem very lovely. We go to church and hang out we are a “team”. Well at least its what we said we would be. Its been a couple of weeks in which he gets mad at anything i say. I feel like i walk on eggshells around him. I have been trying to get pregnant but I’m now wondering if it’s best that i haven’t. I want a baby whether i raise it on my own or not. I love my husband. It’s not like its always bad. Sometimes i think its getting better than he snaps. He has never laid a hand on me but he tears my inner self down when he snaps. I use to blame myself and say if only i would have not said that. But now, i don’t know if i can but. At this very moment i want to pack my bags. I wonder where will i go. And i stay once again, hoping for it to get better. I desperately wanted it to get better. Am i wrong for trying once again??? Am i weak??? Am i less of a woman??? Am I really a bad wife??? I don’t know. I wish i could go to sleep and never wake up. I wish i would have never lived. Am I selfish?? How can I change. How can i make it better.