I have PTSD from when I was raped in 2014. Surprise! September 13th is the anniversary.

This morning I’m sleeping peacefully and woke up to my husband trying to put his penis in my anus.

He says he wasn’t trying to put it in, just that he was trying to lay in out the outside because it was “comfortable”. I’m terrified of him right now. He keeps saying “I’m not like that, I’m not fucked up in the head”. But I just don’t understand.

Do I believe him or should I pack my shit and go? I told him to leave while I figure it out because I’m in no state at the moment to make decisions.

I’ve been having panic attacks.