Am I a cheater?

Question

I’ll try to make this short. 
I’m married. Was going through a very rough patch that I voiced with my husband..and I brought Up divorce...
We cried, he begged me not to ..said he wouldChange but I just didn’t know. The very next day I met a man who was very persistent in getting to know me.. and asked for my number about 4 times in a 3 week span. I let him know up front I was married, and he said he had a woman as well and Just wanted to get to know me. Now I know this is wrong but I was in a very vulnerable state. I ended up becoming good friends with this man, we went out to Eat twice and he texted me about how passionate he felt when looking at me& how he wanted to take me out of town. Fast forward a month later. My husband found out and is completely shattered. He cried everyday for months , couldn’t sleep, missed work. But I just didn’t feel like it was THAT bad. . He saw messages to my best friend proving I didn’t sleep with him, but he says this is me cheating on him... I’ve never cheated. Even though we have been together for so long.This marriage is my 2nd relationship(2nd man I’ve been  with) so I accept my dumb mistake and still have a lot to learn but what do you ladies think. Please don’t be rude I just want honest opinions.

Accepted Answer

You went on dates with another man, yes, you cheated on your husband.

Answer

Yes you’re a cheater. It may not seem “that bad” to you but that doesn’t mean it’s not cheating, just bc there was no sex involved,

Answer

Honestly, by my standards you cheated. You definitely crossed a line that you shouldn’t even get close to when you are married. I hope you are able to work it out or find what makes you truly happy.

Answer

There are more forms of cheating then just sex. 
I would feel you cheated.. you talked to another and went out etc... I assume with not letting your husband know. So if it was that innocent just a friend you would have told him. 
It's not just a mistake.. this was weeks and multiple chats, texts, calls, meeting up. 
Depending the depth of the convos and such would determine if me (personally) could move on or not.

Answer

It is cheating, because 1. You were accepting the other mans action and comments and going along with it. 2. You actually enjoyed the relationship you had with him emotionally.
I understand where your husband is coming from, he said he wanted to fix things and you turn around and go “love/like another guy. So you didn’t even do it for the sex, you did it to feel love.!

Answer

I’d say emotional cheating which can effect some people far worse than physical. He’s probably imagining you with another man putting a smile on your face and you potentially having some sort of feelings towards him and it’s breaking his heart. 
Fact is, you weren’t honest about it.. he found out. He’s going to jump to conclusions. You hung out with another man behind his back after mentioning divorce. See how this is related to cheating in his mind? 
You need to apologize and accept that he views this as cheating and try to figure out what you can do for him, if anything. If he’s this broken over it doesn’t it make you feel terrible? I’d never want to make my husband cry.

Answer

You cheated on your husband. You went out on dates with another man. And if you we’re being sneaky and hiding texts or calls or never told your husband about your “friend” then you were cheating. You were emotionally invested in a man that’s not your husband. If you wanted a divorce then your should’ve gotten a divorce before pursuing other men. I personally believe that if you’re doing anything with a person of the opposite sex that you can’t tell your spouse then you’re cheating.

Answer

Yes you cheated. Don’t be surprised if he has trouble trusting you from now on (if you two stay together) or if he constantly questions you about things. You can’t be mad if he does because he’s hurt and I’m sure thinking about you with another man is breaking his heart. You need to apologize and be upfront about this with your husband and tell him exactly what went down. It might not change how he feels about the situation but at least you’ll be truthful about it with him. I hope you two can figure it out and make your marriage work. Sounds like it is going to be hard though. Good luck. And you might want to cut communication with that other guy or your husband is really going to be lost

Answer

If he went with dates with another women how would you see it? If myself or my man text another man/women I wouldn't be with him and he wouldn't be with me. This is cheating any sign of attention that desired sexually is cheating I believe. As I guess your not going out for a meal just for a chit chat as friends the intention from both sides seams more then friendly.

Answer

cheating means one thing to one person and something different to another. I would say yes this was cheating, you were unfaithful to your husband. put the shoe on the other foot. how would you have felt if he had done this to you? as someone who has been divorced, cheated on multiple times, and had cheated...I feel guilty for ever talking to another man, although my husband had left me and cheated on me several times. and I wish he had just waited until we were seperated to pursue other women.

Am I a cheater?

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