I always said I wouldn’t be this girl....

Why do I need him to straight up tell me he’s cheating before I leave?

Why can’t I believe myself? Believe the girls numbers saved in his phone, the pictures I’ve seen, the lies I’ve confirmed?

We have been together almost four years and I have made myself believe his lies for the last year. I’ve played delusional. I’ve let him get upset about me bringing things up to console myself with no effort from him

I’ve even let him tell me that nothing has happened between him and them.

Right now I need a friend. Someone I can talk to about all of this because I think I may be pregnant but I know I can’t be with him no matter how much I want to because he just isn’t the guy from four years ago.