Its been so hard these past few days

My mom passed away on Sept 15th. Now in the the state of Florida if the family does not have the funds to bury their loved one the state will help. There are conditions to this as in anything else. So all of my mom's children since she was divorced had to sign a consent for the state to collect a permit to cremate her. So my sister and I signed it the day they presented it to us. My brother on the other hand. Left the state and was playing cat and mouse for me to get him to sign this paper. I needed him to do so... Well after about 6 days of mom passing he finally signs it. Well yesterday I get a call from the funeral home saying that a private viewing (which I desperately needed) is not a good idea... All because when the state is involved they don't embolm the passed and which in turns leaves mother nature to take it's course.... So... My issue is I have this resentment building towards my brother..and I know this all sounds so selfish and rediculous but damn it all. I don't ask for much in life from people just common courtesy and the same respect I give you... And I can feel this resentment building... I haven't grieved over losing my mother...I was waiting for the viewing for it to all sink in... But now I can't have that and I'm struggling with what to do with all these feelings I have towards everything.