PLEASE Share Your Experience in Getting Over an Ex That has a Kid/s With you

Hi Ladies - I feel so down and I really need advice, stories, suggestions or encouragement about how to heal and get over an ex in which I share a child with.

This story is so long and even the short part of it may be long. BUT PLEASE HELP ME !!! I NEED TO BE STEONG FOR MY BOYS AND ADVICE. I HAVE EVEN ATTACHED A PHOTO TO SHOW WHAT KIND IF PERSON I WAS DEALING WITH.

I AM 32 he is 40. We were together for 4 years, I had kids from a. Previous marriage. He had none. For a couple years we fought about the fact he wasn’t expressing love or being affectionate enough but he told me he needed time. I have that time to him and just hoped for the best. In the meantime we had a son and while I was pregnant we argued about his constant drinking and flirting or the fact that he wouldn’t give me affection but he always demanded sex. He also needed porn all the time - but it was so much that it looked unhealthy. He watched it even after we had sex. I started to feel like a sex object rather than a person or a girlfriend. After a while he changed his mind that he never wanted to get married because his sister divorce and it made me feel stupid because I already had 3 children and I really wanted to be his wife rather than a baby mother or girlfriend. ( it’s a moral thing) I understand it should have happened before we got pregnant but the IUD failed and I chose to keep the baby.

We were both happy but after 3 years things got worst but I stuck it out because I guess I was so focused on maintaining the family we frown and I did really love him. But I started to wonder if he loved me ...? He would tell me he did then other days he would say he didn’t. My emotions started to get crazy, and even worst when I saw signs of cheating. It’s sucked because he even put a lock on his phone but he said if I loved him why did I need it? I should trust him. It was so hard for me since he cheated when I carried our little boy. 😞

The final straw was when we went to counseling and both decided to do the best we can and remain a family and he would be a better man etc. I wouldn’t accuse him of anymore cheating or flirting etc or even being investigative. I stopped everything and put 100% into our relationship and absolutely didn’t look for problems or accuse him, even if I had feelings that something wasn’t right. I took him to Cuba for his birthday. I took us to Florida with the kids( building new family memories) I cleaned and cooked for him at his place. I massaged him. I stopped asking about my needs and was hoping he would just start showing affection. I didn’t even ask for the password anymore to his phone.

I guess I should also admit that he begged me for a threesome for years that I finally gave in and instead of him appreciating it, he asked for more and not to my surprise it was the only time he voluntarily told me he loved me after we finished that day. BUT THEN ...

, one day our son was playing in his device and my ex asked me to help him put on the volume as I was watching him play, my ex got a text and of course I looked and I saw in his messages that the whole 8 months after counseling he was texting and meeting prostitutes! 😨😢💔

I saw the hotel room numbers, their faces, their bodies, I saw that he invited them in the bed we slept on !! My whole soul came out of my body and I was lifeless. I broke and every since that day I been heart broken. This was months and months ago and I am still crying over it. I can’t even bring myself to co parent normally because I just don’t want to know he is even exist or want to hear his voice. I cringe knowing he fathers my son and how disgusting I felt. Right away I got checked and I cried for days. He risked my health and even the kids. What if I had something and gave it to them by sharing utensils,etc. ???? how could he cheat on me even after his birthday. Our memories, our family...?

After all I’ve done. I paid for everything because he didn’t have a good job. I was doing the best I can to show him how much I loved our family !! 💔💔💔

I don’t know how to get over this. I hate myself for loving a man like this. I hate myself for not leaving sooner. I hate myself because a part if me still loves him and mourns for our family, our memories and past. Now I feel like I am not enough. I feel used. Sexually abused and just stupid. And I have to deal with him for a long time.

I feel like I’m going down and I have the 3 kids to be strong for.

I am in therapy but I don’t feel the difference. My ex is clearly a sex addict and alcoholic and i think I was a victim and now suffer from it. I don’t know if anyone has gone through it. I feel ruined and almost like I don’t want to love or trust ever again.

I attached some photos to show how sexually abusive it got.

His wordsAre that he is sorry and he can’t handle me either because I won’t get over it. For him he is happy , screwing whoever and living his life while I try to heal from being a victim of his addictions. 💔💔 PLEASE HELP!

Please help me !!! 💔💔☹️😢