My dad is dying and I don’t know how to feel about it.

I’m currently 23 weeks pregnant and I just found out my birth father is dying. He walked out of my life when I was 5, and I was raised by my mom and step dad.

When I was 18, he was diagnosed with cancer. I tried to reconnect and build a relationship with him, but he went into remission and cut me off again.

Now I’m 24 and it’s now gotten worse and I just don’t know how to feel about it. He’s walked out on me time and time again, but I want to be there for him so badly.

I can’t imagine putting my own child through what he has put me through, but I feel awful just ignoring he exists until he dies.

Now isn’t the time for me to worry or stress about it, I have so many other things to worry about but this has broken me down in ways I never imagined.

We had our anatomy scan today and I spent the entire day on cloud nine only to be brought to a crashing halt. My heart is broken, but my mind is angry.