My husband

So I feel like I don’t even know my husband any more. All we do is fight. He went on a 9 month long deployment to iraq since he came back. I feel like we aren’t “us” I’ve tried everything to reconnect with him. Bugged and bugged and bugged for a date night just us. No kids no family just us. He always says no and than an excuse. But when it’s time to see his boys he’s ready and it’s never an issue. I feel like me just asking how his day was once he’s home from work is annoying him. Maybe it’s me but I just feel like it’s not there any more. What can I do ? & I’ve tried to talk he just tells me I’m over reacting or we’re fine. Maybe it’s just my anxiety ?