Leaving my husband ....

Ladies,

••••••POSSIBLE TRIGGER•••••••

How do you leave a controlling, manipulative man... (use to physically abuse me)

My whole life I’ve been abused by men,

My father molested me

My uncle raped me

A guy from high school got me drunk, and molested me

My husband, use to hit me, beat me so bad to where I had to be admitted in the hospital he almost shattered my voice box.. also marital rape I tell him to stop that it hurts but he keeps going and going....

I’m in therapy 3 times a week, I don’t work, I have anxiety, depression, social anxiety, a fear of man.

I’m scared because we just bought a home together where my mom lives, his family lives 1 hour away they hate me, they call me the (White woman my son, brother, cousin etc) is with. They don’t like me, they never did.... I don’t know how to get out I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GET OUT !!! I’m not strong enough to call the police, or tell my mom. I’m not strong enough to leave.

I got so much going on, I feel like honestly the only way out is if I kill myself. The only way I’ll get rid of him if I’m dead, the only way I’ll be better mentally is if I’m gone, the only way I’ll be away from court with my father if I was gone, I wouldn’t feel like a burden to my mother, I wouldn’t be here to support my sisters and brother but I feel like they will be fine without me..... WHAT DO I DO !? Have you ever been in a situation like this ? Please tell me what you did, how long did it take you to leave, what do I do?