I’ve been wanting to post my birth story for the past week, but all of these postpartum feelings have hit me. I miss being pregnant, I miss my hospital stay, I even miss my doctor and going to doctors visit lol I really don’t like this feeling at all. I was induced at 39 weeks. Due to high risk pregnancy. I got to the hospital at 7:30 am and started pitosen at 8:30 am. I was already at 4 cm and 70% when I got to the hospital. Around 10 I had my membranes swiped, and oh my the pain! This was my first pregnancy so I didn’t no what to expect. Every 10 minutes they came and upped my pitosen until it got to max.

My contractions got harder and harder and around 4 pm i was at 6cm and I got my epidural. They turned pitosen off at 11pm bc I hadn’t made any progress and they wanted to give my body a break. At about 1 am they started me back on pitosen and broke my water. I expected this huge Gush if water to come rolling out lol but nope. With every contraction I had a little bit came out at a time. After my water was broken they had checked my temperature and I had a fever.. from where my water was broken I had gotten an infection called corio. And all they can do until your baby is here is give tylonal which wasn’t bringing my fever down but it wasn’t going up either. At around 6 am I was at 8 cm and 100% effaced but my cervix wasn’t completely thin. At around 9 am I was ready to push out my baby, but they kept making me wait on my cervix to thin. The epidural had worn off and I was feeling everything including the catheter. They wouldn’t up my epidural bc they wanted me to feel to push. They gave me pain meds that did help take the edge off. Finally around 11:25 am the nurse decided she would try to push my cervix back as I pushed at the same time. So I did. Once her head was visible they called the doctor. That is the worst part of it all is waiting on your doctor to prepare themselves and get ready for your baby as your baby’s head is halfway out of your vagina. Trying to keep yourself from pushing and the pain from babies head together was the worst of it all. At 11:33am my baby girl was born. She immediately started crying as soon as she came out. I was not pushing for long at all, the doctor was even shocked at how quick it went. They let me hold her for about 10 minutes before they had to take her and give her antibiotics from the infection from the water breaking. I had to wait about two hours until I could have my baby back again. But back to the delivery lol a few minutes later I felt the need to push my placenta out also, I asked my doctor did I need to push and she said no not yet.. and as soon as i said that my placenta came flopping out. I didn’t even have to push. And the doctor goes “you knew before I did” and I’m thinking well yea I’m feeling literally everything bc u wouldnt give me my epideral! Lol I had 3 little tears which I felt the stitches bc the epidural was no longer working. My babygirl was 8 pounds 5.5 oz and 20 inches long. Little did I know the worst part of this all would be the ppd or baby blues. It’s been one week today and I’m still trying to cope. Im giving myself a full two weeks before I decide to seek help. This emotional toll it is taking on me is making me feel so broken, so much good came from this experience. I have my little girl and I adore her so much. I just feel as if I dark cloud is above me and I want to just cry. It only hits me at night. I would give birth all over again just to not have this sadness. I can’t wait to look back on it all, and thank god I made it through this.