Bf not interested in sex anymore
Lady’s I just want your thoughts on my man. First of all I would like to say he is absolutely amazing to me in every way except when it comes to sex.
When me and him first got together he had a bigger sex drive than I even did, and my sex drive has always been pretty high. Well he hasn’t even sent me a “dirty” text in 2 years now. We live together, so I know texts aren’t necessary (even tho I would totally love if he sent me a dirty text while I’m at work while he’s home) but he doesn’t say anything dirty to me in person either. He only wants sex like one or two times a month. He blames it on being exhausted from work. Which ok, I’m sure that’s a little true, but he use to work even more when we first got together and his sex drive was through the roof, so... ?
So after so many talks about this, I finally got him to go to Lover’s Lane with me so we could specifically look for something that would boost his sex drive. We both agreed on it. I was trying to find tablets he could take and he was looking at vibrators for me. I told him this whole thing is so we can have more sex and to boost your sex drive, and he was telling me I need a vibrator because he doesn’t think I should go to him to get off all the time. He said it like angrily. But all the time? We have hardly any sex and I’ve stopped even asking him for it for months! He also turned down the idea of using the vibrator on me, he wants me to just go solo when he’s gone. It doesn’t even turn him on the thought of me masturbating. That’s the problem, he doesn’t get turned on.
Which ok, I did get the vibrator but I also got him a sex drive booster and a cock ring and gels he could use for a longer erection because he also has problems with that sometimes. On the way home he told me it was so embarrassing to even be in one of those shops. When I first started dating him, he took me to those shops and we had fun and he bought me lingerie, he wasn’t embarrassed back then! This time he said he didn’t want to get me lingerie. I said all that, and he said “I just don’t have the juice anymore” and I said “yeah, that’s the problem. That’s the whole reason we went there.” Like obviously. Then when we got home he was shit talking the stuff I got and said it was a waste of money. He didn’t even want to try anything that night and told me I should use my vibrator when he leaves for work.
For me, it’s not about having orgasms. It’s about me wanting him to WANT me. To have thirst for me. I want him to be happy too. I did try my vibrator last night and even though it felt amazing I was struggling imagining something sexy to get me off, I had to imagine he was actually INTO sex like he use to be. I don’t care for porn, I want my man to be my porn you feel me? Lol.
He refuses to see a doctor and tells me nothing is medically wrong with him except he’s tired from work and has lost his sex drive. But it’s like he’s not trying to fix it. Why do I have to be the one to take the initiative? He has told me before sex is a small thing and I shouldn’t worry about the small stuff. I know sex is not the most important thing by any means in a relationship, but it is important and idk why he doesn’t agree.
And also I know 100% he’s not cheating on me. Like I said we have a wonderful relationship other than this problem and plan to get married. He does tell me that I’m beautiful and that he’s attracted to me and he feels me up to tease me, but just doesn’t take it to sex.
Any thoughts or advice?