39 weeks pregnant & here’s the cold hard TRUTH about Pregnancy✌🏼😂 **UPDATE IN COMMENTS**

Hey ladies! Here is my truth when it

comes to pregnancy....it’s been one

hell of a ride and I’m an open book:

First id like to start and say, I am honestly gonna miss this big ol bump & feeling my baby, I really do enjoy it MOST of the time🤰🏼

▪️you THINK you’re “out of the woods” + “in the clear” and your anxiety will be gone once you hit the 12 week mark.....NOT!!! That is just the beginning sistaaa😂

▪️I legit popped at 10 weeks and couldn’t wear/sit comfortably in jeans.....screw your pride and buy the maternity jeans the second your uncomfortable.....worth every minute of comfort👖

▪️I was NEVER sick during this pregnancy- no nausea or vomiting: fellow pregos HATE hearing that and may want to slap you 💁🏼‍♀️

▪️I got CRaZY ass heartburn and honestly, don’t suffer= get the prescription from

your Doctor, it’ll change your life for the better!🙌🏻 #fucktums

▪️I ate sushi (not raw fish), drank coffee, painted my house and dyed my hair= so far, so good✌🏼listen to your doctor not the wacko jacko in your life!

▪️my back hurt like a mofo, I would undo my bra while sitting at my desk and didn’t give a shit....after 6 months of torture, I asked my boss if I could work from home 2 days a week and she said yes= life saver, therefore you never know until you ask😭

▪️Fuck salads and healthy food= give me all the sweets and junk.....I mean.....I took my prenatal everyday!? Does that count as being a good mama to be😂 (chill out, i swear I did eat some healthy meals....)

▪️zero stretch marks- I use Coconut oil lotion & Bio oil everyday 2x a day, I honestly used it so my skin didn’t itch, so I have no clue if it actually helped with stretch marks too (they say it’s all in your genes), whatever it is #thankyoujesus 😍

▪️at 8 months I got a hemorrhoid and literally wanted to die...I came down the stairs in tears to my husband and he thought someone had died....NOPE just a horrible thing hanging out in my asshole. FYI=the little guy is still there to this day & I hope it’s gone after I’m done being prego😐

▪️you can be pregnant and still be annoyed and not like other people’s kids....you don’t all of a sudden love every small person and thats okay! 😷 you may even question “why the hell am I doing this?” / “I seriously LOVE my life....like really, why the fuck am I doing this?” Multiple times throughout ur pregnancy #totallynormal 🤪

▪️another fun symptom that may come your way is carpel tunnel....in the 2nd trimester it was insane pain in my wrist (tried wearing a wrist brace while I slept but found that I woke up in more pain) now in the 3rd trimester my carpel tunnel is in FULL action mode and it’s my entire left hand- it’s in excruciating pain, itchy🤔 and feels as if it’s about to explode....ALL.DAMN.DAY🖕🏼 literally just chop it off....I have another one, I’ll be fiiiine!

▪️Most commonly asked question (besides for the regular stuff)....”how much weight have you gained?!” 😳 I shit you not, every single person asks me this (whether we are close or just met....who the fuck thinks that’s okay to ask?)

▪️I was corny and had a Gender Reveal Party= SOO glad we did, was so much fun and was surrounded by everyone we love....plus I got to see everyone’s reactions to finding out the baby’s gender and it was awesome💕 FYI it’s a girl.

▪️we also did a maternity photo shoot and I’m so happy we did, so if these are things you want and people shit all over it, trust me you won’t regret it🎉

▪️ALSO just got chosen for a free Fresh 48 session by one of the top newborn photographers in my city so you bet your ass I said heck ya!

-then we have newborn family pics scheduled the week we bring her home= I already know people will judge us and I don’t give a shiiiiiiit! 📸 #bitchesbeingjealous

▪️people will surprise you....friendships will

change, other women may be weird/competitive with you who are pregnant at the same time....fuck em.

-BUT I will not lie, it will hurt when besties aren’t as excited/supportive as you had hoped😐

▪️dealing with friends/family who are going through Fertility issues is really hard when you ARE pregnant.....it’s hard to

Find the balance of what to say and how much to say.....don’t feel bad for what you have but be respectful and mindful of those who want it and have to work for it🤰🏼

▪️don’t believe the hype about prenatals....this girl’s hair did not get thick and beautiful 😭 (my nails are dope tho!)

▪️I got BIG ass cankles and I think it’s hilarious.....it freaks everyone out but doesn’t hurt and is totally normal...so just accept it, wear those baby’s proudly and good luck finding shoes that fit👟

▪️sex is hard...like actually hard to have....and to be honest it may not happen a lot....hopefully you have an understanding partner OR maybe you’re a horn dog and this isn’t an issue for you, either way #yougogirl 💏

▪️maternity stores are over priced & lots of their clothes are kinda ugly....so be creative and stick to stores you love already and you’ll be able to find some cute tops/dresses that are non-maternity.... but trust me = spend the $ on the pants/shorts/bras👗 totally worth the extra cash!

▪️MOST IMPORTANT PURCHASE= pregnancy Pillow!!!!! It will save your life, I swear!!! Make sure there is support for your belly & something to go in between your legs= I bought mine at 4 Months and it changed my life + I sleep great!!!😴seriously if you touch my pillow...you’re dead to me.

▪️Dont let others make you feel bad for buying baby items, clothes or going all out for your nursery....if you’re lucky enough to have a shower there is a good chance people will buy you clothes and cute items, but most people won’t get you the practical necessities....so you do you and get what will make you feel at ease👶🏻

▪️before pregnancy you’ll think women are being overly dramatic about how hard it is to bend over and pick up something....IT TRULY is one of the hardest things you’ll have to do that day. The amount of times you’ll say “fuck it” is endless 😅

▪️DONT tell people the baby’s name beforehand, unless you like your soul to be crushed and hear negative comments about something you love 💙💕

▪️Eat the 2nd piece of cake, go for the ice cream, never turn down another cookie...trust me it’s always worth it & so delicious (unless you’re diabetic, then maybe say no here and there haha) 🍰🍦

▪️when you physically over do it...you won’t just be a little tired or sore....you will wake up in the middle of the night and feel as though Mike Tyson just beat the shit out of you....you will be sore all over and your body will hate you....seriously, take er easy!

▪️while pregnant, calling your fetus an asshole is totally understandable- they are all up in your ribs, making you sick, taking over your body= it’s true, they are an ass🤣

▪️being freaked out about fetal movement is going to happen LOTS but try not to let it consume you and find a few go-to ways that always make your baby move= my baby always moves when I play Jay Z & Kanye West “______’s in Paris” so you bet you’re ass I play hip hop and rap to my fetus whenever I want to feel her🎤🎧

▪️Discharge.....so much discharge.....😱

▪️People will tell you to stick an evening Primerose tablet up your vagina, drink raspberry tea 4x a day, walk a lot (dude walking a long distance is the LAST thing I want to do, I wanna sit on my ass on the couch or take a nap), have sex (again....def NOT in the mood- haven’t been for the past 6 months and truly don’t feel like it when my stomach is rock hard and I’m sore), swing on a swing set, eat pineapple, nipple stimulation and a bunch of other wild shit....let’s face it.....it’s probably all bullshit but most of us will try it anyway and then swear by it afterward (I have NO opinion yet because I’m still knocked up but the amount of things people told me to try I either forgot after the 1st day or just couldn’t be bothered ✌🏼).

▪️ You will pee ALOT in the beginning and ALOT in the end.....it’s annoying. That is all.

▪️Enjoy these 9 Months, document it, talk about it, share your ups and downs....complain because hey this ain’t easy...realize how lucky you are to be in this place and also be mindful and respectful of those who are trying to get here......appreciate your partner for the small things.....annoy your doctor with questions if that’s what will help you sleep at night.....at the end of it all treat yo self before this kid pops outta you and don’t feel guilty for it.....you’re all amazing and gonna be great mommies, best of luck and add to the list to help other women out there laugh/cry and be ready for the whirlwind of their life💕

I