I want to be so over this.

I really hate myself. All I want more out of life is to bring another baby into this world with my husband and I can’t do that. What have I done to be treated this way. I pray everyday for 8 yrs to have this miracle and I can’t. Why do I feel cursed? Why me? I want to cry so badly but I’m just so use to this. Nothing seems to work and I don’t have money for infertility treatments. Fibroids are a killer and can be a burden. All I want is to bring an addition to our family and I can’t do that. What is wrong with me. Why me?