Homeless while pregnant AND now with newborn

I just needed somewhere to vent, so I chose here.

I am 22 years old & up until July, I lived with family. My sister has 3 kids that I took care of, on top of paying rent & constantly cleaning up after everyone.. even grown folks -__-

Well my sister & I used to fight a lot. I'm the youngest & for the longest time, didnt have kids. She was jealous of me especially on the fact that I decided to not take on huge responsibilities. She was exhausted from her choices & although I helped out a lot, would often lash out on me & GOD FORBID I DEFEND MYSELF!!! Well we went a long time without fighting, until one night she blew up on me for asking her to take her kids, & then later asking to be quiet at midnight when I had to get up at 5am.. I was 7 months pregnant at the time, exhausted from pregnancy, prenatal depression, & taking care of her kids 24/7 even when she was home. She ended up threatening to kill me, so I pressed charges.. then got served with a 30 day eviction notice by my mother who was blackmailed into kicking me out (my sister pays a lot & has 3 kids she was threatening to take away from her if she kept me there)

Fortunately, someone took me in & fortunately my child's father has been a huge help with paying for not only our son's expenses, but also my own. Well I have til the 20th to find a new place to stay. My mom reassured me I could move back in.. but my sister threw a fit & is threatening to move out if I do move in. I try convincing my mom everyday to get a place with me (shes miserable there & tired of my sisters manipulation.. she seriously acts like she's in an ongoing abusive relationship. She thinks she's financially dependent on my sister even though she makes enough money herself) She cries every day about how exhausted she is & how she's miserable, feeling walked all over. She pays half the rent when 4 adults live there, gives her entire check to rent on top of watching the kids, & GETS SCREAMED AT EVERYDAY FOR WANTING TO NAP BECAUSE SHE IS MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY DRAINED!!!!

I am heartbroken, but not only for me & my son. I mention how hard it is looking for homeless shelters during the holidays with an INFANT.. & I can hear the pain in her voice when she says "But your sister will move out & I'll be homeless too". I keep saying it doesn't have to be that way. She had you for a decade through 3 kids.. it's MY turn now! She had her chance to have assistance, shes pushing 30, she should have it all figured out now! I mean I'm 22 with a newborn having to figure it all out myself!! I keep saying "Mom, with your income & mine, we could get a place together" & her response is "I don't want to feel like I'm picking sides" ... BUT YOU ARRREEE!!!! She had your help for 10 fucking years & shat all over you!! I'm willing to give you peace & quiet, help with your diabetes & nutrition (they dont encourage her to eat healthy.. shes 61, obese, not taking care of herself.. she's dying in that house) Well she's upset that I said I dont think she's capable of caring for an infant. I keep telling her I WANT her to be in his life, I just don't trust her alone with him because she's SICK! I need to save my mom but she's so fucking manipulated it's hard!

She's willing to see my side of things, but she keeps opening her mouth to my sister & brother, giving them the chance to keep her on their side. The house is filthy, I was willing to keep it clean if I moved in (I have no choice, I'm not allowing my son in a nasty environment) But my sisters answer was firm. Her name is NOT on the lease.. my mom's is & my brother's. My brother is going on disability but currently relying on my sister, so he has to take her side on everything.

I've accepted the fact I have to give up my dog to move into a homeless shelter. I've accepted the fact I made the choice of bringing a child into this world very selfishly without a stable home, car, ect. I've accepted the constant burden of guilt.... but I will not accept my mother choosing to rot in a toxic home.

I'm going to talk with her on Monday about it, away from the house. This her last chance at happiness & I hope she chooses it. I just dont want her thinking I'm doing the same as them. Yes, I need a place to stay, but I'm fine figuring it out. I just would rather have her here with me so I know she's safe & improving her life.

If you made it this far, thank you. I needed to let this all out. It's been haunting me for too long.