Pregnant at 18


Hi. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years next month, and I’ve known him nearly three. It hasn’t been perfect, but our love and commitment to each other keep us mutually trying in the relationship. This past August, I found out I was pregnant. Initially, I was 2 weeks into my first year of college, I had set up the abortion appointment, I was keeping it a secret from everyone but my bf, and I was terrified. Now, 13 weeks and 4 days pregnant, my family and friends know, I’ve withdrawn from college, and I’m still terrified. My bf works 10 hours a day, and goes to school for an average of 6 hours a day. He was supportive both when I wanted an abortion (I was terrified of my mom finding out) and when I was too terrified of the procedure that I chose to keep the baby. However, I’m still scared for our relationship. We’re both 18, and he’s the most genuinely caring guy I’ve ever met, but we both kind of freak out about our childhoods ending.

My family isn’t super well-off, but we are comfortable. His family is on the lower income side, and he’s been employed for nearly 4 years just to generate extra money to take care of himself and his mom and brother.

He is wistful talking about how now we won’t be able to travel, or do things just the two of us. I worry that the new stress will drive him away. I love him with all of my heart, I couldn’t be a mother without him by my side. Also, him and his brother are adopted, so he keeps talking about adoption even though I’m against it. The least I can do is take responsibility of my own actions, aka my baby. He justifies it with “I just want the best future for the baby” but it’s frustrating for me because financially I have a college fund and am prepared to give my baby all the attention and love it needs.

I don’t know how to respect some of his feelings without getting defensive over some of my own. Mostly I just don’t want to believe that my/his/our life(s) will end, and I don’t want to constantly fear for an inevitable end of our relationship either.