Giving up😥

I'm writing this because I'm emotionally and mentally having a really hard time and needing some comfort and maybe some advice....

My son was born at 27 weeks.. I was producing an ounce every time I pumped for the first 2 weeks. I pumped every 2 hours and woke up every 3-5 to pump.. I started having a hard time waking up after awhile to do it.. Not having him there to demand it in the middle of the night made it hard to wake up.. I noticed the amount I made went down dramatically no matter what I did to increase it. Power pumping once a day, oatmeal for breakfast, Mother's Milk Tea, Massage before and during pumping, hot wash cloth or shower water over breasts. He was a little over 2 months old when he was finally able to latch. Which he did perfectly. At that point I wasn't making anything but drops even though I was still pumping to every 2-3 hours in the day and trying to wake up every 5 at night. I will admit, after about a month and a half, there were days when I was unable to get to my pump and hadn't learned hand expression yet so I would go longer than that. Not often though. I hadn't brought him any bottles in a couple weeks because I wasn't even filling the bottom of one per pumping session. My lactation consultant decided maybe I should go 4 hours in the day to help reduce the stress of every 2 hours. She also suggested I try a Supplemental Nutrition System. Which is a bottle hung around my neck or tucked in my bra strap with milk in it and a tube taped to my nipple going into his mouth. He is nursing but getting fed from the bottle. We tried it a few times and I cried so much and decided it was too much stress on him and myself for him to learn the bottle and an SNS. Bottle feeding is the only thing keeping him in the NICU now and he is only taking half of what he needs to at a time.. I feel like trying to make him learn both would tire him even more and he won't do well with either..

I'm so upset with myself and my body.. he will be 3 months old on the 22nd and I decided a couple days ago I may give up on my 'dream' of breastfeeding. It's mentally consuming and draining me. I'm only pumping once or twice a day because I'm so depressed about not being able to do it. I wanna give up but am still holding on to a small hope that if I at least keep myself lactating maybe we can work on it at home and it'll get better. But another part of me says just stop. You've tried 3 months and it's not getting better. He was too early and you can't help that. I don't wanna regret giving up if it will get better.. but I'm also just so down about not being able to provide with just my body and needing the SNS to breastfeed..

There are 3 mom's beside me in his pod breastfeeding beautifully.. but their babies were 33 weeks and up so they were able to latch within a couple of days after birth.. it took me 2 months of dedicated exclusive pumping to get him to latch..

I just really need some support, do you ladies think I should stop? Or keep trying and hold onto the hope that it'll get better when he's home? I'd really love to hear any success stories from similar situations...